It's been a long friendship. Never missed a single moment of being together, so much so that our names become prefix/suffix to one another. Somewhere down the line your judgment towards them starts changing, you will start getting a feeling that they will always agree to whatever you say or think.... The dominant one will start making decisions concerning both without consulting the other. It is generally well taken, the for roots of this tree penetrate deep. As the time flies by a lot of changes occur, its during this time that you realise that you were 'taken for granted'.
The receiving end may not be tolerable all the time. A gasp of revolt will turn into never ending arguments. Statements will be made- 'I thought at least you would understand me!!' , '...but, you knew it all the time!'..etc. On the contrary, truth would be that you always thought they knew, you always thought they would understand, but as always they would have been unaware & quiet while suppressing their angst.
These events do pass with one consoling the other. Things may actually start looking normal but for that little thing which is already out there, that thing called 'taken for granted', it will never let you be the same..
..........People get tendencies, don't expect anything from them..........
Coursera (2013)
10 years ago
8 comments:
I can understand its tough to deal with misunderstandings Vishy.. but somesaid once said "The winner is the first one to say sorry..".. that might be true.
hi vishwas.... wat u say is true.... 'Taken for granted".... many times i hv gone thru this n many many times even i hv done the same thing.... its always been a jigsaw puzzle for me to understand a friend... understand friendships.... or may be i never botheed about theses stuffs....
sometimes wonder why or how "trust" works. no theory ever convinced me. two reasons- i dont probably think in a right way, that demands a little softening. two- i havent had a personal experience, neither i wish to. i wonder if it works with people contradicting the above mentioned conditions.
i dont quite agree with you swaroop again just to come out and say sorry just eliminates the current tension but never relieves the cause, dont you think so???
macha...if theres somethin i hav really learnt the hard way it is "dont EVER let others make decesions for u" and no matter how much he/she may be ur bum chum...its really not worth comin "that" far in a friendship if "that" decesion wud affect "that" relationship....
its one thing to trust its another thing to be taken for granted.
u may find a vague reference to a mail i had sent u long ago....
cheers
??? :O
Is this a sudden revelation? or an old thought awakened by some recent happening?
You hit the teeny-weeny sensitive nerve, buddy! This is not just with friends but may happens with almost any relationships - with Spouse, Parents, Siblings, relatives, colleagues or children.
And in some relationships "taken for granted" - "sorry" keeps repeating so much, that it is the ONLY thing which exists in the relationship. I often wonder, is such a realtionship really meant to be maintained? Is it necessary to continue such a thing just for the sake of good-old-times? Is it not time to stop and take two steps back, and realise how it was when you were not THAT close?
If it is a relationship by blood or marraige, there is a lesser scope to break it(as it wud have various other repercussions). But otherwise I would say enough is enough - "Live and Let live. Go on, this is just the beginning and not the END". (Of course this is the end of my comment... lol!)
aha! satya vachana tamma! either u learn from life and chose to ignore.
As Calvin says "live and dont learn! that is us"
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